Eat My Pants!
by RiddikulusWaterbender
Summary: During a field trip to Germany, Kurt plays a prank on Kitty that involves pants, salad, and cheese! Enjoy!


**Summary: During a field trip to Germany, Kurt plays a prank on Kitty that involves pants, salad, and cheese! Enjoy!**

**Just to let you know, I'll usually be doing Nightcrawler stories since he's my favorite character. (Even though his voice is annoying.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men Evolution or uncle Vernon.**

The airplane touched down in an airport in Germany. It was an early morning. Several days before, Kurt told Professor Xavier that he wanted to visit his adoptive parents since he missed them so much. Much to Kurt's surprise and delight, Xavier suggested that all of those who wanted to go too can come. He had Scott and Jean organize a class field trip to Germany.

When the students exited the airplane and got their luggage, they went into cream-colored taxis and signed into a hotel. (*) It was a five star, fancy-shmancy hotel with a lot of decorations. Professor Xavier did have a lot of cash.

The excited students got to check out their rooms and chillax. After that, they started to plan where to eat for breakfast. They all went to a German buffet and ate until they almost burst.

"Aaaah! I alvays loved buffets," Kurt sighed. He loved food. Usually it gets him in a mischievous mood. Kitty winced at the amount of food on his plate.

"Like, how can you stand all that food?"

"I have high metabolism, whatever zat is." Kurt replied, grinning. Kitty just shook her head.

"Kurt, I've always wanted to ask, what's _lederhosen_?"

"Huh?"

"That time when those jerks at school threatned to jam me in the locker _again_, you know? You were, like, yelling at them saying they smelled like unwashed _lederhosen_. They did smell, but I've always wondered what _lederhosen_ was."

"Oh," Kurt said. "It's a German dish. It's one of my favorites that doesn't include meat." He said this cheerfully while trying not to snicker.

"Really? What's in it?"

"It's practically bread with salad. Zey have zis big chunk of sweet bread and stuff it with ze salad. It has different kinds of vegetables and fruits with cheese and a secret sauce zat's delicious!" He made this up as he talked, which was why it didn't sound like the best food in the world. Luckily, Kitty seemed interested. "Wait I'm not done yet!" He exclaimed as Kitty opened her mouth. "You can choose wezer or not to haf meat in zere. Then zey fry ze sweet bread and then zey... do ozer stuff." He stopped as soon as he realized he was out of ideas.

"Sounds cool! I totally want to try it out. It's good to try out new food, you know?"

"Yeah. Hey! You should order it for dinner!" he feigned excitement.

"Ok!" When Kitty walked away to get more salad, Kurt snickered in delight.

"Phase One, complete!"

Across the table, Scott and Jean were watching Kurt, who was looking suspicious. Scott turned to Jean. "Hey, do you know what _lederhosen_ is? I have a feeling it isn't food." Jean shrugged and tried to look into Kurt's mind, but since Kurt knew what Jean was trying to do, he switched his mind from his prank to _I haz cookies, I haz cookies, I haz cookies_.

"Sorry, Scott," Jean said sadly. "He's thinking about cookies." Scott grumpily smashed his fist on the table.

"Darn!"

"Ha!" Kurt whispered, smirking at Scott with his arms behind his head while Scott glared in return.

After lunch, Kurt dragged the X-Men to his adoptive parents' home, demanding them to meet his family. The couple was pleasantly surprised when Kurt teleported over and hugged them tightly. He then introduced them to every X-Man that was there.

After a few hours, the X-Men went to another restaurant for dinner. They sat at several tables and Kurt chose a table with Kitty, Evan, Rogue, Amara, and Bobby. A waiter came over to their table and put menus in front of the children.

"Hey, there isn't _lederhosen_ on here." Kitty squinted at her menu.

"It's because no one orders it much." Kurt said quickly.

"Why not?"

"It became out of style." He switched his voice to a sad tone. "Vhat a shame, It vas _vonderbar_."

"Oh, I was totally gonna try it out."

"Hey!" Kurt acted like he was thinking of something. "Maybe if you ask for it, zey can cook it for you!"

The waiter came back and asked "_Darf ich Ihre Bestellung aufnehmen?_" The kids looked at Kurt and he translated for them.

"He vants to take your orders." Then he turned to the waiter. "_Sprechen Sie Englisch?_"

"Oh, yes. Not very much zough." The waiter spoke with a thick German accent.

Everyone ordered their food but nothing interesting happened until it was Kitty's turn.

"Do you, like, have _lederhosen_ here?" she asked the waiter cheerfully.

"Vhat?"

"_Lederhosen_. Do you have it?"

"Er, I'm sure one of ze workers... haf some?" The waiter looked at her awkwardly.

Kitty was delighted, oblivious from the stares of the waiter. "Cool! Can you stuff it with salad, fruits, cheese, and sauce- the usual?"

The waiter was staring at her as if she phased through the table.

"And then fry it and stuff?" Kitty was pretty sure this guy didn't know how to make it, so she was telling him what Kurt told her. The waiter was stuttering in disbelief. All this time, Kurt was trying with all his might to stop himself from exploding with laughter. The waiter wrote down her odd food request and walked away a little too fast.

Soon after, the other children received their food- except Kitty. Kitty was practically drooling over her friends' food and was anxiously waiting for hers to come.

"Ugh," She huffed impatiently, not noticing the faint smell of burning leather. "Like, how long does it take just to make a salad with bread?"

About ten minutes later, the waiter came with a covered plate. After hesitating for a second, he awkwardly set it down and with a flourish, removed the cover. Kitty stared. On the plate, it looked like one of those breeches that German boys used to wear.

The parts where the legs go in was stuffed with salad, fruit, cheese, and sauce. If it wasn't stuffed inside leather pants, the salad would have looked delicious.

Kitty shrieked. Kurt burst out laughing but he wasn't the only one. Evan pounded the table laughing so hard a spike shot out of his arm and hit the ceiling. Rogue was snickering and smirking, crossing her arms. Magma was in a fit of giggles, laughing behind her hand. Bobby, who was drinking soda at the time, spit it out of his mouth, which froze and shattered into bite sized soda ice. Kurt was laughing himself silly and ROTFLOL-ing.

"What's this?" She demanded at the waiter who jumped in surprise.

"Very sorry. Did we do somthing wrong?"

"I asked for _lederhosen_, not pants stuffed with salad!"

"Zat is _lederhosen_." The waiter said. "Only stuffed with salad- like you ordered." He added with a roll of his eyes.

"...What?" Kitty asked.

"_Lederhosen_ is a type of German pants worn for normal wear." He spoke to her as if she was a three year-old. Kitty's face turned the color of a bright red tomato the moment she took this all in. The waiter walked away muttering "_Albern Amerikaner..._" and Kitty swiveled her narrow eyes over to Kurt.

"Oh man, Kurt's gonna get it now!" Evan snickered to the others. Kurt was still laughing at Kitty, who was breathing like an angry uncle Vernon.

"You -_breathe_- did -_breathe_- this -_breathe_- on -_breathe_- purpose -_breathe_- didn't you?"

"Hey, at least you weren't embarassed or anyzing." He gave her a _please don't hurt me, I'm too cuddly!_ look. Kitty gave him a _You won't like what I'm gonna do next,_ look in return. Grinning evilly, she grabbed his hand and phased it through the table. Letting go of his hand, she phased her hand out of the table and did that to his other limbs. Soon Kurt couldn't move his limbs at all.

Kurt grunted as he tried to move his limbs out of the table and floor.

"Ha!" Kitty taunted. "You can't move and if you teleport, you'll get in trouble with Jean and Scott!"

"Vhat about you phasing me through?"

"I have an excuse." Then with an evil grin she grabbed a lock of his hair and tickled his nose with it. She knew it wasn't a good enough punishment, but when they got back to the mansion, she'll have a far worse one for him.

So now, the nearby locals eating at the restaurant stared at the weird American tickling the poor boy -who seemed to be stuck on the table- to death.

"No, noooo! It itches! Kitty!" He whined as he struggled against the table and wriggled his nose. As he lifted his invisible tail to scratch it, Kitty quickly found it and phased it through the floor.

Now it was Kitty's turn to ROTFLOL at Kurt.

**A/N: All done! How did you like it? Critique, praise, suggest, just don't hate. NOW FOR THE NEXT STORY!**

**PS: All the German speaking is in italics and I used google translate. Sorry if it's wrong, I have no idea how to speak German. **

**(*) I don't usually describe places since I'm so bad at it so use your imagination!**


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